Friday, January 16, 2009

1 + 1 + 1 = 3 = 2 + 1 ?

My schedule changed. I used to zombie out the door around 7am, with tea and oatmeal, granola, or  yoghurt  in hand, and bread-object, blueberries, or banana in my pack. Maybe a couple of satsumas, too. I'd do this to catch the train that takes me under water to the other side of the bay to be there by 8.

Now I only have to take 2.6 minutes to walk down the same street and be there by noon. The starting time changed, as did the distance. Before, noon used to be lunch. Now noon is a starting point. Where did lunch go? Where does it go? Where should it be?

Saturday, January 10, 2009


..I want to use more sctotch tape ..I want to wear fake teeth all day ..I think I'm getting smaller ..I don't know if it will rain ..I regret the coffee I've had ..I want to shake her ..I wonder why I never doubt myself ..I don't think I'll get water in my shoes ..I don't know why it hurts my lung ..I do doubt

Saturday, January 03, 2009

for 9

Not that I'm a resolutionist, but I've decided to document (here) a few goals for the year instead of letting them soak up all the juices in my brain and take up more space than they should.

- Get outdoors more. (Campking / hiking / river..) 
- Be even more respectful than I am.
- Fuck bureaucracy and false authority more often. 
- "Deface" more property. (No worries.. I use chalk.) 
- Put more photos into proper frames. 
- Send out more mail. (Of the snail variety.) 
+ And this is a secret one that I hope for October.
+ This one is a reminder that I want to fly a helicopter.

Friday, December 19, 2008


At nine-twenty PM

To the beat of the wiper blade,
the passenger blinked each time.
Both sets of eyebrows furrowed;
avoiding a relationship in the rear-view mirror.

The rain made the yellow glow- it catches an eye.

At eleven-forty-six PM

After the dishes were put away, his feet lead to the bedroom. Cereal confusing his belly. Her reflection was horizontal in his eyes, which continued to watch the back of her head on and in the soft and overstuffed. It remained still. His mind told him her body was positioned that way consciously. He knew she'd pretend to be sleeping, even before he traded a decision of rice for cereal.

His brow relaxes, mind confused. He didn't see the point in going to the market when they didn't need to. His mouth doesn't usually feel for food, especially when hungry already. The mouth and stomach are not the same, he knows.

At eight-eleven PM

His feet into the door, his eyes saw her working. She said she was done, and his ears' attempt at a grasp of something he didn't feel strongly of either way in her fast speech. He knew she was excited.

She: Asked what he wanted for dinner, Knew he doesn't make favorites, Is indecisive, wanted to do something nice, couldn't decide.

They weren't in a hurry.

Emails, files, and laundry filled the moments before a decision was necessary.
Her mouth / his stomach.

At nine PM

She: Asked what texture he felt like having in his mouth. She: wanted something gooey-like, but baked (or with bread-crumbs). He said anything but squid and she is still her indecisive.

Colder and quieter.

She was frustrated at her mind- it couldn't decide.
She was told by him that fried rice will be soon made by him.

She didn't want little pieces in her mouth, though. She wanted gooey-like.
She watches the traffic from the fourth floor window. Maybe cheese, the passing taxi unintentionally suggested to her.

"We should go buy cheese," she says.
(Maybe the cab in the right lane pulled it from her.)

His face changed because he knew she really wanted to, and sometimes he does anyway, but he just didn't can't couldn't. He made the fried rice and threw it out. The texture wasn't good to him.

(He sometimes knows he's just as _______ as she is.)

She ate sourdough bread and at eleven-thirty put her body down to the bed on the cold side near the window. Faced it.

At eleven-thirty six PM

She likes watching the clock on the Tribune building. She likes a memory to be in her mind of when she asked him if the high glow circle was the moon, and it was when her contacts were out, and he told her it was the clock and he told her that he didn't realize how bad her vision was. She loved to remember the look on his face when after he said of her vision when she scream-laughed after a silence at when his voice stopped. And the uncomfortable face he made when he wasn't sure if he wanted to ask it while wiping her laugh tears. She pointed to the moon, very higher and accused him of being stupid because a building can not be that very tall. An erect smile and one eyebrow are the memory of. She wonders how much sense it really makes that now she laughs at newspapers.

Facing the window because she wanted to be cooking, but just didn't know what. There was only half a block of cheese, and not even the kind that melts right. So with the bread in her, her brain laughed at the view of the Tribune while her back waited for him after the door made the sound of open then shut.

It sank and no words were.

She: specifically slaps him, Knew he'd lay on his stomach. Now busy laughing. Too busy laughing to notice his reaction to it. Face still in the pillow, she points at the Trib'. His escaped laugh breaks the effort of his facial muscles to appear upset. That image was in her mind while behind her head. He knows this, too and smiles for her.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Why I hate to sleep.

I love my life so much more than my dreams.


Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Anna and 'That Tumbling Six'

Of Anna (and those I feel similarly of):

Makes me feel for a better sense of my whole-thing of being blah the such. Okay, so sometimes I don't exactly see because of my focus on other things.. and because of that I don't realize that I may come off as something else.. especially with Anna and those I feel similarly of: (Robert and Jho.. but hardly, if any.. Gil, Jon & Mitch.. but only on a good day.. and to a lesser extent is the Rubes and Wyn.. Wyn only less because I haven't talked to her in such a long time and I just now knew that.. Anyhow-and-no-I-didn't-forget-the-end-parenthesis-thing, I-left-it-out-just-because

Uhmn.. I got bored of thinking about that, actually. But I like Anna and she's what made me write of now since 1) I have a semi-plan on the 'Six' topic: I'm going to do everything like I wanted and not worry of making not-good things since that's never a possibility for myself. I am not capable of making something not-pretty, obviouslyObviously. I trust Anna knows me well enough to know I'd always do well whatever my decision, and that's what I've decided: : : : To trust Anna into and doing of what I want and myself.

Oh, and there was a '1)' so I guess I should make a '2)'; 2) I do miss her! Not because she's in Japan again, but because we've both been busy a while before her trip and busy with schooling and her testing and I think she's done a wonderful job with her life thus far. I also think she doesn't give herself enough credit for her mind.

Anna, you needn't be a visionary to be important to someone or make an impact on the world.

Anna, you like good things. You know good things.
You don't need to MAkE good things to be wonderful.
You know what they are >> just as important / or more.
Some do and make without knowing the value= What good is that?

Anyhow, you're precious, my dear!

Annnd my 'k' key is broken. I've pasted every one and might have forgotten one or more- /disclaimer.

+this is much longer than expected
+more of a letter-ish type thing
+ almost spontaneous
+i like even numbers

Monday, September 26, 2005

tumbling and Now We Are Six

So, I'm doing it..

Deciding what is it that I want to do..

Now- of course there is what I thought of until now.. but.. I'm thinking of different options now.. BUT I can even do them all at once if I really wanted to. I know some people are doing it already.. (although it's not THAT good).. And that's not rude of me to say.. It's honest. It's not very good. I don't know if I could do something not very good.. I think too highly of myself to leave a history for people to compare my future self to.


This may be a very difficult decision.